How to Make a Good First Impression
The world’s population is roughly 7 and a half billion people. It is estimated that throughout our lives, we will meet around 80,000 people. During those encounters, there is an opportunity to make a good first impression and showcase your ability to connect. But this is easier said than done. For various reasons, social anxiety being the main one, people often walk away from meeting someone new with regrets and worries. Maybe it was because they were feeling grouchy and just “could not get it together”, or maybe they just wanted to say something funny or clever but was not sure how to say it. Oftentimes, we doubt ourselves and second-guess what we want to say and before we are able to build up the courage to say it, the moment has passed and we wish we had that moment back.
Below are four tools to incorporate throughout our daily lives to not only make a good first impression but also to communicate more effectively with those around you.
1. Make Eye Contact- The first thing people will notice in an encounter is if you are looking them in the eye. Before any words are even spoken, there is a dynamic taking place between yourself and the other person. Once eye contact is established, it shows that they are are going to be paying close attention to what you have to say and vice versa. This includes not checking your phone, fiddling with the pen next to you, or doodling on a piece of paper.
2. Show Genuine Interest- This part cannot be faked. Being genuine with someone is either there or it is not. But you can still work on being present and respond to the conversation as appropriate. It can be helpful to “check in” with yourself and evaluate if you are feeling up to meeting someone new. If you find that you need to take a moment and center yourself, make sure to do so.
3. Ask Questions- After the initial introductions, it can feel as if the conversation hits a wall and you or the other person is at a loss for words. The reason for this is simpler than you might think… It is because you do not really know each other. The way to combat those feelings of awkwardness or discomfort is to fill the space with questions. People generally enjoy talking about themselves and giving them the opportunity to do so through questioning them is a great way to keep the conversation flowing.
4. Be in the Moment- The best thing about meeting new people is the opportunity it offers. You might find that you have an instant connection and want to stay in touch. You also might realize that they work in the same industry as you and can be added to your business network. Whatever the case may be, just allow yourself to enjoy the back and forth dialogue and focus on the other person. Try not to worry to much about yourself and give all of your attention to the other person.
If you or someone you know is looking to improve or even learn how to improve social interactions, increase self-confidence and boost self esteem, Ben Barer LCSW-C has extensive experience in working with clients using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to improve all areas of life. He can be contacted by phone or email, 443-601-9722 or barercounseling@gmail.com or through the contact form on barercounseling.com.
