Why Couples Counseling?
Throughout the course of seeing individuals and families in therapy, I often get asked what the benefits are of couples counseling and how it differs from individual counseling. While there can be many reasons that couples want to attend counseling, there are a few common themes and topics that many couples struggle with for long periods of time without reaching common ground. Couples counseling offers a unique opportunity for each partner to air their grievances and frustrations in a healthy manner in order to reach a productive conclusion. Below, I will outline a few things that couples counseling offers as well as how it can differ from individual counseling.
1. Understanding of your Partner- Couples counseling sessions can help each person gain insight into the actions and feelings of their partner which can be difficult to achieve outside of session. During a disagreement emotions are heightened, and it can be difficult to see where the other person is coming from and what the actual argument is really about. Couples counseling can assist in the form of replaying the disagreement in front of a neutral third party, the therapist. The therapist can offer an explanation as to where he/she feels the disconnect between the two parties are. Through this process, the couple gains more in-depth analysis on how they communicate and can build off of this for the future.
2. Communication- Speaking of communication, couples counseling offers the opportunity for both partners to examine their communication patterns and identify if there are any triggers that tend to intensify the response from the other partner. The therapist can assist in working through those triggers with both partners and offer alternative methods of communication that can serve both partners’ needs. Removing or minimizing triggers can greatly improve the overall communication between both partners; thereby creating an environment that is calm and relaxed which is vital to affective communication.
3. Fair or Foul- Couples can often argue about something where each partner is positive that they are correct. Sometimes it is as small as directions to the store, but other times it can be a disagreement related to parenting philosophies or financial spending habits. While a therapist’s role is not to referee, it can be helpful to have another voice that is objective and reasonable. Ultimately it is up to the couple to agree on a compromise that works for both of them, but couples counseling can help them get there.
4. Raw Emotions- This point addresses more how individual counseling goes hand-in-hand with couples counseling. Being in a relationship can be extremely rewarding, but there are times where it can also be challenging. During the challenging times, sharing those raw feelings and thoughts in individual counseling can give that person space to vent and process. Then, bringing those feelings and thoughts into the couples counseling session can lead to a productive and constructive outcome for the couple.
Ben Barer, LCSW-C is offering couple counseling sessions virtually as well as in-person. Ben also has extensive experience working with individuals and families. Ben is experienced working with borderline personality disorder, depression, anxiety, self-confidence and men’s issues. He can be contacted by phone or email, 443-601-9722 or barercounseling@gmail.com or through the contact form on barercounseling.com
